Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
