If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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