So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
