cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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