i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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