Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
