He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
