put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
