If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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