My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
