I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
