Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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