Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
