Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
