I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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