My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
