we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
