Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
