i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
