i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
