Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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