hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had sex on a roof
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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