he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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