Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
