were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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