She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
