i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
