..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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