Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
