I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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