Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
