Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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(773): View more from Illinois

somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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(618): View more from Illinois

i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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(303): View more from Colorado

the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night

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(386): View more from Florida

Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick

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(954): View more from Florida

You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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(630): View more from Illinois

There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.

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