I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
