Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
