Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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