11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
