There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
