It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
