This girl is more easily done than said...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
