why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
