is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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