Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
