can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
