Yo dont text me then not text me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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