p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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