guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
