This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
