the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
