I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
