good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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