I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
