i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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