Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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