She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
