We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
