I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
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