physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
