feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
