would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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