ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
