If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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