If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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