she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found puke in my bra..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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